Boundaries for Massage Therapists

Boundaries for massage therapists are really an ongoing process of learning about yourself and values and making decisions that align with those values. Boundaries are everything really in life and in a professional massage business. Boundaries are just knowing where you end and another begins. It is knowing that you are separate and good. It is knowing that you don't have to compromise your values to be loved and cared for or to get clients.

Boundaries are needed in every aspect of life. Ever have a debt problem? It's a boundary problem - living within your means. Ever have problems with a boss who gave you 40 hours of work to be done in 20 hours of time and you tried to do it? It is a boundary problem - the ability to say no and bring the issue to their attention.

Boundaries begin forming in early infancy and even in the womb. Attachment is one of the first processes we go through that will start showing us who we are- where mom ends and you begin. There are different levels of attachment that we go through with our caregivers that will help us to feel secure in ourselves. Through bonding and attachment we develop trust and affection. When we are securely attached and know who we are we are able to be our true self. When we are insecurely attached, the false self develops to cover up the inadequacies and unmet needs.

Touch is one of the early ways we learn about bonding and attachment which is one of the reasons why this is all so important. When people are touched in certain ways during a massage it can re-enact the mother/child bond and help even adults find out more about themselves.

There are many types and degrees of boundaries that I won't go into here. Cherie Sohnen Moe and Ben Benjamin cover them extensively in their book "The Ethics of Touch". Massage therapists will need to know about things like personal boundaries, emotional boundaries, sexual boundaries and touch boundaries.

Some massage therapist may at first think that boundaries are barriers. Quite the opposite is true. Boundaries will support your values. When you don't have boundaries you will have defenses. One of the challenges for massage therapists is doing things like giving away their time for free or under charging for their work. This is a common boundary issue. They feel that if they charge more they won't get any clients. They undervalue their work and are not rewarded enough for their services. Going on that way can lead to resentment and even burnout.

If you are working for a franchise and not being paid what you think you deserve - it is a boundary issue. You accepted the position knowing what the pay was. Your inability to ask for or work to prove you are worth more will require that you stand up for yourself and draw a line - a boundary around what you will work for. The same goes for having too many clients to work on at places like these. Massage therapists fear saying no and drawing a boundary because they fear losing their job or not being able to find another job. When you work for less than you deserve or work in ways that hurt your body you are letting people cross your boundaries. Your feelings are usually the indicator that one of your values or beliefs are being challenged.

Because the massage/client relationship is also a therapeutic relationship it is important to understand boundaries and how they can help you succeed as a massage therapist and in other areas of your life. Each situation with clients will bring up different boundary challenges. The best way to handle them is by seeing a supervisor or starting/finding a peer group to help you in discussing your challenges. Having appropriate boundaries can also help you in building a business or finding/creating your ideal job in massage. By knowing yourself, your values and beliefs you can work to create boundaries that support you in your desires and aspirations.